गजल -आशा ‘विदीर्ण’

November 10th, 2005

-आशा ‘विदीर्ण’

भत्किएका सपनाहरु समेटेर घोचिरहन्छन् तीखा रातहरु,
स्मृतिका पर्दाहरु उघारेर जिस्काइरहन्छन् असह्य घातहरु ।

जलन जो थियो मुटुभित्र घट्दै घटेन त्यो कसै गरी,
दन्किएका ज्वालाहरु बोकेर पिल्साइरहन्छन् पीडाका खातहरु ।

पालेर उत्साह बसन्तको पुलकित थियो हृदय तब,
उजाडिएका मौसमहरु ल्याएर खसिरहन्छन् शिशीरका पातहरु ।

प्रण थियो निस्केको दिलबाट मीठा आस्वासन अनि भरोसा,
फेरिएका बचनहरु देखेर टोलाइरहन्छन् विगतका बातहरु ।

लडखडायो जिन्दगी पनि अहो, आफै बेसहारा भएको बेला,
रंगिएका रुपहरु संगालेर बोलाइरहन्छन् नशालु मातहरु ।

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Entry Filed under: गीत/गजल

27 प्रतिक्रियाहरू / Comments आफ्नो प्रतिक्रिया दिनुहोस् / Add your own

  • 1. Bewar!se  |  November 10th, 2005 at 11:42 pm

    Amma….ni…hou..! ASHA Ji Tapai ta sacchikai “Kavi” hunuhudo raichha. LAKURIKO BOT dekhi liyera yo gajal samma yeti mitho haraf haru ko mala unera ramro Kavita ko srijana ra afaulai euta Sahityakar hun bhanera chinauna SAFAL hunu bhayeko chha.ASHA ta maile gare kei thiye tara tyo bhanda jhan gahakila kosheli liyera hamilai pakinu bhako raichha.Tapaiko naya kosheli padhna pauda dherai khusi lagyo.Good job and keep it up.
    Your Well Wisher
    Bewar!se

  • 2. kancha biwas  |  November 11th, 2005 at 8:17 am

    Asha ji,
    Namaste!
    I appreciate your writing skills. But your poems/gajals are unable to speak the present. They are totally failed to include the pain of the present. I mean to say they are not contemporary. The poems should speak the voice of the ppl. Gone are the days of writing love poems, about hills, mountains and rivers. The present demands to write on the tears of the ppl, the suppressed voices of the ppl and much more…
    Take example of the “Bise nagarchi ko bayaan”, it is able to bring the pain of general public and being able to include the present. So became famous. Bhupi wrote for the ppl, Rimal wrote for the ppl, so today they are remembered for their poems. You have to be the same.

    So, I request you to use ur skills, talent and knowledge to create the poems for country, and its people.

    With thanks,
    Kancha Biwas.

  • 3. Lara Thapa  |  November 11th, 2005 at 12:57 pm

    Asha Di,

    Jawab chhaina wah ! wah ! sachhai Asha Di, gazal ramro chha.

    And, Kanchha jee, On behalf of Asha Di, I would like to thanks for encouraging to our Asha Di by giving example such as Shrawan Mukarung, Bhup & Rimal so what? if her creation doesn’t speak the present voice or it’s not Contemporary but who cares? anway, let her to be a real ‘Asha'’.

  • 4. Lara Thapa  |  November 11th, 2005 at 1:05 pm

    Di,

    Ladkhadayera ke bho? afai beshara bhayeko bela
    tyati rangahin chhaian you jindagi ko mela
    bolai rahanchhan yadi bhane nashalu matharu
    Kohi ani kahi ta hola ni Di, thamne jor hatharu……………

  • 5. jaulo yuenlong  |  November 11th, 2005 at 1:41 pm

    jali sakeko jalanlai pheri kina jalauna khojdai chhau ! basantako naya munaharu palauna pani ta saktheyo !! bhatkeyeko sapanaharulai pheri kina gasna khojdai chhau !!! janha naya sansarko basti basna panita saktheyo !!!! krishna thapa ( jaulo) yuenlong hk.

  • 6. Nima Gyaltsen Sherpa'Goparma'- Sysdney, Australia  |  November 11th, 2005 at 2:15 pm

    Dear Asha Ji
    I am writing this feed back with the background of Jagjit Singh
    Thank for your ‘historice’ Ghazal once again you have proved that you hava an ocean of feelings. Ghazal ko haraf haruma najar lagau dai jada, Sabda haru saral vayera pani- sundar ani sargarghit paye. Its not hard and rule that one should write about current happnings, people’s tear and et cetera et cetera. Its depends on writers feelings and expression and its up to readers- Chahe mana ya namana.
    Katham usle piye pani nasale chodna sakcha..

    Tera Chehra Kitna Suhana Lagta hai….
    Lekdai janu hola vanney Ashama
    Nima

  • 7. bhogen 'akle'  |  November 11th, 2005 at 3:34 pm

    didi aba kabayatri bata gajalkar tira.
    didi ko yasta rachanaharu sadaiba padhna paiyos. mitho gajal ko lagi dhanyabat. ‘akle’

  • 8. Prativa K.C. Canada  |  November 12th, 2005 at 1:14 am

    Larajee and Nimajee are absolutely corret. Nobody has the right to discourage or abolish one’s feeling and talent. If somebody prefers his own idea, he should start it by himself. Here, for instance, if everybody write on Sagarmatha, Bise Nagarchi, Desh, Khetipati, Kranti, Jalashrotko dhani Desh, Rajniti etc who cares for Muna-Madan, Chiso Chulo, Malati-Mangale, Pallo gharko jhyal etc..etc.. .Are they all meaningless ? Anyway, i have been watching, especially literature column, in hknepal.com for long time. All the poets, writing on different topics, are great. Thanks for these hknepal.com. And Ashajee, i, undoubtedly, like your poems. Keep on writing.. more and more. -Prativa, canada.

  • 9. MASKEY  |  November 12th, 2005 at 3:21 am

    kabitakar ko kabita ka sabda haru

    bina socha ma nae urlirahnchha!

    ti gajal ko ta ke kura yadi churlumm !
    sabda ko pokhari ma dubne bhaw haru laaee

    na ta kabi ko upadhi n ta gajalkar le nai chinichha
    matra ti sabda ka bhandaar le.
    ani didi Asha sadhai sabda ko naya “Asha” le chhaos.
    yahi nai subhakamana
    BHAWANI.
    ILL. USA

  • 10. Nagen Ingnam  |  November 13th, 2005 at 4:12 pm

    Oho,

    LARA THAPA Ji Ko jawab mitho lagyo.

    ho…….. ……….. ……..
    Thulo chha yo sansar dherai hunchhan bat haru
    Dherai Tita ra Andhakar ani thorai rangila rat haru
    Sajaunos Rangiako Ruplai Birsinos atitka ghat haru
    Prasastai aghi badne chhan thamnalai Jor hat haru

    You have Nice words baini…..Keep it up …………

    dai,
    nagen ingnam

  • 11. Asha Bhutiya  |  November 14th, 2005 at 1:28 pm

    Hi everybody Besaharaji, Kanchha Biwasji, Lara, Jauloji, Nimaji, Bhogen Babu, Prativaji, Bhawani Bahini, Nagen dai ! Thanks for your comments. I am very very very much obliged to all of you. Mukhya kuro, yo ghajal ta maile jani najani lekheko ho ni. Tara, sabai janale comment garera malai rini jo tulyaunubhayo ma sada sada smaran gari nai rahanechhu. Kanchhaji, I’ll try my best to do the same, you expressed.Thanks for your sweet muktaks Lara, Japloji, bhawani Bahini, Nagen dai and for encouraging comments Bewariseji, Kanchhaji, Nimaji, Bhogen Babu, Prativaji. Hoping to see in next LEKHAI, yours -Asha.

  • 12. Binay Lama  |  November 14th, 2005 at 6:36 pm

    Ashaji, Ghazal mitho lagyo..ani lagyo- niras jindagiko bastabik chitran bhayeko chha yaska haraf haruma..arko Ghazal ko apeksha gareko chhu.
    -Binay Lama

  • 13. sabi  |  November 15th, 2005 at 7:45 pm

    Asha di,
    lazabapa chha gazal ani kabita………
    aba arko kabita gazal padne pratik chhya ma base ko chhu
    ma baini
    kanchhi

  • 14. Asha Bhutiya  |  November 16th, 2005 at 12:50 pm

    Thanks a lot for appreciation Binayaji. Tara, ma lagayat sabaile tapainko gajalko pratikchhya gareko pani nikai nai bhayo jasto lagchha. Launa, chhittai padhna dinos. Ani pyari pyari bahini ‘’KANCHHI'’, malai pani ta lageko thiena ki kanchhi le pani kabitaharu padhchhin bhanera…. Ha..Ha… just kidding…hai..! Timile bhaneko jasto ‘LAAJAWAAB ta kahan ho ra kanchhu. Tyahi pani man parai diekoma thanks. Anta pheri aba ‘’saari'’ chahin kahile lagaune ? Aba ta kabu bhayau ki ?

  • 15. pratima  |  November 17th, 2005 at 8:49 am

    Hi Aasa ji!!
    maile hajur ko muktak pade sarhai ramro lagyo.thau thau ma hajur ko lekhharu padna pauda bela belama sumadhur voice sunna pauda sarho khusi lagchha, tesaile anurodh pani gardachhu ki yesto sunaulo mauka haru dinlai pachhi parnu hunechhaina………. aru pani bhanna man lageko ta dherai thiyo tara ahile yeti nai la baki arko pata….. bye

  • 16. s . thapa  |  November 19th, 2005 at 10:01 am

    hello didi
    namaskar.
    didi ko gazal padhera dherai manche haru ko comment aaisakeko cha .sayed ye sabai comment le garda didi ko hatma pen samaune housala aru badiraheko hunuparcha.just keep continue its your great time…..hami jasto hajrau manche haru ko sath tapailai.
    socheko jasto hunna jiwan
    dekheko jasto hunna jiwan
    bhaneko jasto hunna jiwan
    jasto lekhidiyo nidharma lekhne le
    testai bhognu parcha jiwan.
    TARA
    sangharsa bina ko pani k jiwan… je jasto bhaye pani sangharsa ta garnai parcha harek paila ma…….

  • 17. Asha Bhutiya  |  November 28th, 2005 at 6:24 am

    Pratimaji & S. Thapaji, Thanks a lot for your heartily appreciation. I’m so sorry to be late in response to your comments. Pratimaji, maile pani tapainko madhur aawaj nasuneko dherai nai bhayo ni hagi ? Ra manma lageko kura nirdhakka bhannuhos hai phone ma ! Sathai S. Thapaji, mitho ani ’sympathetic’ muktak lekhnu bhaekoma atyanta khusi lagyo. Huna pani sonche jasto ta ke jiwan matra ra, ek-dui paila badhda pani sonche jasto thaunma khutta naparera thes lagi halchha. Tara, mathiko ghajal matra mero kalpana ho hai ! pheri bhetdai garaunla ni ! -yours Asha.

  • 18. kumar  |  January 3rd, 2006 at 2:31 pm

    thanks for good gazal

  • 19. Durga  |  February 5th, 2006 at 6:08 am

    आशा जि नमस्ते
    तपाईको हर सफल्तालाई,

    शुभ कामना सदा सदा शिखर टेक्ने ति तिम्रा पाइलाहरुलाई
    फलोस फुलोस त्यो जिन्दगानी, यहि नै छ मेरो बधाई
    शुभ कामना सदा सद,

    हर कदम हर पाईला लक्ष्य टेक्दै जानु
    सफल्ता हो जिन्दगी, सधै अघी बढी रहनु,
    सौगत हो यो जिन्दगी त, स्विकार्दै तिमी युग युग बाचिरहनु
    शुभ कामना सदा सदा

    चल्छ आधी हुरी कुन मोडमा, बिबस तिमी नहुनु
    सम्हालिन्दै जाउ अघी अघी, हतास कहिल्यै तिमी नहुनु
    चिनारी हो यो जिन्दगी त्, तिम्रो त्यो उस दुनियालाई चिनाईरहनु ।
    शुभ कामना सदा सदा

  • 20. Atit Mukhiya  |  November 4th, 2006 at 2:45 am

    ——भुटिया सङै मुखिया गजल् मा रुदा—– अतीत् मुखिया

    धुवा उडयो जिन्दगी यो कता सल्क्यो कुन्नी
    हाँसो भित्र भित्रै आसू कता छल्क्यो कुन्नी

    आन्ध्यरो छ आफ्नो आकाश धुम्मिएर सधैं
    पत्तो छैन मन्को घाम कता झुल्क्यो कुन्नी

    साह्रै मिठो हुन्छ भन्छन बैसलु आनुभूती
    थाहै नपाई आफ्नो बैस कता ढल्क्यो कुन्नी

    उत्शाह र उमङगमा सबै रम्छन झुम्छन
    यो मन भने उदासीमा किन पल्क्यो कुन्नी

    अधुरो भयी हराउदो छ सारा सुखसन्तुस्टी
    असन्तुस्टी झझल्कोमा किन झल्क्यो कुन्नी

  • 21. chandra gurung(ramailo)  |  December 2nd, 2006 at 5:23 am

    wow its amazing i like it but i m really being delay dear.

  • 22. raj thapa  |  December 17th, 2006 at 2:04 am

    didi that was good ‘’gajal'’ i read after a long time.keep it up

  • 23. tika makkhim  |  September 9th, 2007 at 1:48 am

    hindekaa chhan dui tuppa jaraa jameenmaa tansera,
    kaiyaun kaiyaun sajiv pancha tattwako bot //
    herdaa hanshilo,rashilo, sukilo, khaailagdo,…….tara…,
    sabaile bokera heendekochha sayaun chot //
    ASHAA g tapaaiko geet, gajal, kathaa, kabita sabai herna
    padna paaiyo tara muqtaq napa undaa merai muqtaq dwaaraa hajoorlaai taarifko bridge lagaai diyeko chhu.rachanaa haru sabai raamro chha keep it up hai ashaa di…..//

  • 24. dharma datta dhakal  |  October 15th, 2007 at 11:25 am

    hi asha ji thank u so much .malai gajal man paryo .

  • 25. P.Rai  |  October 19th, 2008 at 4:38 pm

    Malai ekdam man paryo. Ra mero aphuno jiban sita mel khane bayekole dil chuyo. dhannebad. P. rai, malaysia.

  • 26. rijan rai  |  February 3rd, 2009 at 6:17 am

    adhyaro vo jindagani manko diyo nivda,
    binaayo bho jindagani sadhai dukha khipda.
    jiuna khatir ajhai dui din afthyaro bho
    othmaa kritim haanso lipdaa.
    wow…asha ji.!!hajur bata thulai asha rakhna sakinchh ki bholika din haruma yesatai istariya articles didai janu hola.badhai chha subha kamana hajur lai.keep it up.
    maya_namara8@yahoo.com

  • 27. SURESH REGMI  |  April 8th, 2010 at 7:33 pm

    aasa 6,tapai bat yastai gajal haru aairahane 6.all the best.

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